DAY #11 FULL PORTIONS; Lucky Thing

Weetabix x 2.

Morning snack
Wholemeal toast x 2, butter.

Meatballs in tomato sauce, cauliflower, mashed potato.
Ice-cream (2 scoops).

Egg mayo sandwich on wholemeal, 5-bean salad, side salad.
Cherry pie and custard.

Weetabix x 2.


I’ll keep it short and sweet for this.

I’ve just posted a long one on my thoughts around how recovering from an Eating Disorder waters your personality. How food does so much more than purely serve your body… the way it affects your relationships with other people.

Today I’ve discovered one perk to being on eyesight observations. You meet loads of people, and I mean loads. Staff tend to swap over every hour… there’s been a good few agency staff as well as the regular ones to do the job. Sometimes you feel the pressure to entertain them, that you don’t want to seem ignorant or ‘boring’. The amount of times I’ve apologised for feeling this way, ha!

But you kind of learn that they really don’t mind… that they’re there if you want/need to chat. And then you kind of get used to it and forget. I’ve found it quite a comfort being on close observations, because I don’t have to toy with any temptation to over-exercise. I don’t have to argue with Anorexia about whether I should or shouldn’t. It’s almost a bronze shield in my hand.

At the moment I don’t trust being on my own, in my own thoughts. As I feel like I’m making progress, I can only see it as a positive at the moment that these observations haven’t reduced yet. I spoke to one of my Primary Nursing Team and she said that to take them away was too soon due to the compulsive exercise from a couple of weeks back still being too raw and fresh. But I imagine they’ll reduce them early next week when I have my CPA meeting.

I’m looking forward to seeing my Care Co-Ordinator on Tuesday! She’s from my home in Grimsby and I’ve seen her as an outpatient since I very first was involved in  services back in 2011.

I feel so lucky to have such a brilliant team and support around me.

I’m finally hopeful that I can recover.

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