DAY #151 FULL PORTIONS; A Butterscotch Promise…

Rice Krispies.
Wholemeal toast x 2, butter.

Egg mayo sandwich (white), 5-bean salad, side salad.
Cherry full-fat yoghurt.

Afternoon snack (SELF-CATERED)
Dark chocolate-covered cranberries and yoghurt-coated banana chips.

Chicken and mushroom risotto, vegetables, sweet potato fritters.
Banana and butterscotch pudding, ice-cream.

Bran flakes.

…& the usual PINT of semi-skimmed milk.


Wow. What a day. Emotional… (I don’t think I’ve ever cried whilst playing my guitar before – that happened), but challenging and rewarding all at once. As I awkwardly shimmy through this inpatient admission, and I’m able to access more leave/flexibility off the ward especially at weekends, the days that I’m ACTUALLY here feel very full-on. But in a good sense.

So today, was inevitably another weight-gain. Which in ‘Stage 3’, feels incredibly hard. But I had a hugely helpful session with my dietician. So as I already feel ‘obese’ compared to what I’m used to, for ME, in terms of ‘coping’, the sirens keep sounding when the number gets higher, still, week on week. But the way this unit works, and the program I’ve chosen is fantastic.

It turns out getting to this ‘set-point’ weight thing, is a separate mission in itself, to ‘restoring’ weight and there is an interesting bit of nutritional science to how to find where that ‘set-point’ RANGE (and not a specific number) for YOUR unique body is… scary, and it means lots of tolerating uncomfortable feelings but I’m trusting science. But that’s why I feel so lucky to have this chance and the time to suss this out with myself.

We also had ‘Eat Well’ group, which was pretty much the main event of the day – this is where, everyone who is at the self-catering stage, plans, shops for and cooks a meal together. This week’s ‘challenge’ aspect was to buy a ready meal/frozen food and practice eating for convenience. And this was REALLY bloody useful, and great practice for future ‘real’ life. It was like a school trip to Asda, mind, but yeah – overall, despite how much I wanted to dissolve because of my own insecure issues, it was such a good opportunity and I’m glad I did it.

It took up a large chunk of this afternoon, along with a lot of my personal/emotional energy which I’ll go in to in my next post. As well as exploring the fears behind ‘ready meals’ and a bit of general chit-chat with probs my usual tangents somewhere in there.

Sorry to round this off quick but it’s been a hectic one. I’ve also decided that I’m going to post less on here, soon to be once-a-week, so that I can again focus on my recovery-related stuff. And hopefully when I do post, make them a bit juicier instead of quick and slap-dash. I’ve lots of exciting potential bits being explored with my Occupational Therapist, and now I feel like the care/emphasis is being placed on helping me piece together my life/ambitions/identity as a whole, rather than on the food itself.

For one, I’m going to explore ‘Open Mic’ nights in Leeds, and attend some local acoustic music events which will help me tap in to one of my passions and hopefully get to know and meet people with similar interests.

Just quickly before I dash off for another compulsive strum, if you’re a fan of sticky-toffee pudding and banana-flavoured stuff then I would HIGHLY recommend the mouth-watering ‘Butterscotch and Banana Pudding’ from ASDA! Microwaved and with ice-cream!

Oooooh my god, it really is amazing!! I just went with the group choice at the shop and wasn’t too fussed, so I didn’t know what to expect. But it’s one of the best desserts I’ve had, I’d go as far to say the past few years.

It’s a warm and oozy, lickable hug.

Pop one in your basket next time and I promise you won’t be disappointed.

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