‘Sit With It’ – A Poem

So since last writing, there have been another couple of incidents due to feeling hopeless because of where my tortured mind has been with the Bulimia. There hasn’t been a single day I haven’t binged and purged since being on this ward almost 4 weeks ago now except from the very first day (even though the extent to which has varied greatly) despite what restrictions have been put in place. *please note the quantity has still been much smaller than had I’d been at home in the community in recent times before this admission*

But moving forwards, we’ve had a few productive meetings/reviews around my care – as of yesterday though, I found the biggest help so far, which is to have support meal-planning. I don’t cope well (at this moment in my life, anyway) in spontaneity and there’s something very comforting and reassuring about a meal-plan. I feel grounded. Even though it started part way through yesterday, I had already binged and purged so it felt like that day was well and truly written off. BUT I woke up today to the first day of the meal-plan I had set with one of the nurses that used to work at the eating disorder unit I was on (which I’m grateful for), and up to now – success. I’ve had a productive day too, starting the morning drawing which put a spring in my step, followed by taking part in a craft group this morning and a trip to Irby for a stroll this afternoon. It’s been a very hopeful one.

Although… after tea I felt those horrible self-sabotaging thoughts trickle in. And I needed to write a little something to reassure myself of how to deal with overwhelming emotions, and not act on anything I’ll later regret. Today IS going to be my day for feeling free from my own mind again.

I hope this poem helps you or someone you know, too. So feel free to share…

Sit With It

Sit with it darling,

you’ll be okay.

Let the thought sniff round you,

then run away.

You’re braver than you think,

and stronger than you feel.

Just strap yourself in,

on this giant Ferris wheel.

Moving, moving mind,

Don’t you deceive us sometimes?

We feel stuck or longing to rewind,

but if we breathe it out we will be fine.

Sit with it darling,

you’ll be okay.

Let the thoughts sniff round you,

then run away.

You’re braver than you think,

and stronger than you feel.

Just strap yourself in,

on this giant Ferris wheel.

Breathing, breathing now,

we don’t need to know how,

to solve it all,

just be present in the fall.

We live and we learn,

emotions take their turn,

Sometimes they burn,

but you’ve survived all of your days so far you fragile little fern.

Sit with it darling,

you’ll be okay.

Let the thoughts sniff round you,

then run away.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.