Reflecting the night before yesterday evening (the evening before I was coming home), round the courtyard for the last time, I was feeling how much I was looking forward to going to the acute ward yesterday. I can feel impatient at times, that’s for sure. And I’m wondering whether I’m once back at my home acute ward, whether I’ll be impatient to go back home, and then it will be the therapeutic community and then, and then, and then…
I’ll always be looking for that next thing. Most of us do. Whether to progress in our lives or to get that next fix of something new.
Well I’m pleased to say I’m safe and sound back in Grimsby on the acute ward. I won’t be long at all here, I will be going on what’s classed as ‘extended leave’ whilst my CTO (Community Treatment Order) gets put in place. This means they can write up conditions I have to meet and if I don’t meet them all I’ll get put back into hospital. But they would have to be obviously quite dangerous things, so I don’t expect to come back any time too soon.
However, while I’m waiting for that to be sorted out I just went on an hour and a half leave from the unit. It was bizarre but so contenting, for the first time not being supervised outside for over a month. A cheeky soya latte in a Christmas cup to ground me. It’s given me confidence that I can cope on my own. After over a month of being with staff and particularly the PICU where it was so intense, I had lost confidence, and I only just felt that this morning. But getting out on my own was really, really nice and reassured me that I could. And that there was a whole new world and way of life out there!
It’s quite bizarre sometimes seeing no staff about because it was so intense and chaotic with staff back in Baldock Manor. It’s also much more bloody cold here up north!
Life is what we make it.
Here’s a few pics of the friends I made at the down south unit.