That’s lots of us – the title. So I’m not unique to talk about this. I was a little nervous that on the ward they would make a big fuss about my birthday, but I think they were aware that I didn’t want that. When I woke up and left my room staff wished me a happy birthday, but weren’t shouting it from the rooftops which I appreciated. I was worried it would bring a lot of attention from service users. And if I’m honest I was worried it would become contagious at saying it, you know how it is.
Why? Well I’m very unhappy with the way I look at the moment, putting on a fair bit of weight through hospital – medication and lack of exercise. So I didn’t want people looking at me, but also I kind of feel like I don’t deserve a birthday this year. I feel like it would have been more valuable, and I’d want to celebrate more if I was further in life than I am currently. But achievement doesn’t = right to birthday celebrations, simply being alive another year does. I suppose.
It makes me sad that I didn’t want to dress up nicely and wear make-up etc. because it feels a birthday wasted in that way; I wore a green hoodie, leggings and that’s that. Hair was a bit wacky and unkempt. That’s another thing – I try to avoid mirrors where possible so my hair – who knows?
But again birthdays aren’t just for selfies. I did instead take pictures of my experience – of the proper lovely food I ate for lunch with my dad and the Humber Bridge. Memories.
After going to Barton with my Dad, I then went to the cinema with my mum to watch ‘Encanto’. What a brilliant, diversified Disney film. I love how they’ve started to portray women. One strong and enjoys lifting things, the main one a little curvy and looks nice to cuddle. As the star of the film, she wasn’t the ‘typically pretty’, skinny one. I love that. In fact I’m hunting for a little figurine of her as I think she’s a feminist heroine. I love her quirky style.
I allowed myself to have popcorn too. And it’s much more satisfying eating something you allow yourself than if I’d written it off. This was a change for me, rather than feeling I was breaking any ‘diet rules’. All went well, apart from my mum disagreeing that I had a glass of wine for breakfast. Let me know if any of you have ever had alcohol for breakfast on a special occasion.
Overall, it was a wonderful day spent very nicely with my mum and dad.