I’m learning to be a tortoise. Not literally, but to have a slower, more curious attitude to life. There’s the hare that jumps on everything and is impulsive. That’s me, usually. But I’m gradually learning to be more tortoise. That seems to be the healthier way to live.
Today I had an important assessment (4 hours long) for a career I passionately want to take. I already deferred the assessment from earlier in the year – and the process to getting that far was long and fragmented. I think it went really well. And we find out tomorrow. The thing is, again, if I do get this place I will need to defer that a year too – due to my recent involvement with mental health services, so I can take the therapy and be in the best position possible. But then I’ve gotta be that curious tortoise again. If I do get a place and the wait is long, I will just be so revved up and focused on getting that opportunity. But I also need to plan in case I don’t get it.
That’s the thing isn’t it. Getting the balance of planning for either scenario so I’m not instantly deflated and swirling in no hope.
The enjoyment of today though really reminded me I am here for something. I felt so passionate about the assessment day that really gave me a purpose. Somewhere to aspire to be. It reminds me of all the hell time I’ve been through there has been this chance waiting for me. And that whatever you’re going through, you’ll bump into something that has the potential to change your life.