Pirate Ship Minds

Imagine your head is one of those pirate ship rides. You know the ones that go up and down one way and the next. I felt like that for so long. When I get to the point of being mentally unwell, the pirate ship is high and thriving to stomach-ache level. My thoughts are scattered … Continue reading Pirate Ship Minds

Accepting a Changeable Body

I’ve never been so disgusted in all my life. At my body, my face, my everything. I’ve avoided mirrors apart from when washing my face, at which point there’s been a repelling magnet against me looking at anything else of me in the corner of my eye. I had avoided thinking about it – I’ve … Continue reading Accepting a Changeable Body

Birthdays with Mental Health Issues

That’s lots of us – the title. So I’m not unique to talk about this. I was a little nervous that on the ward they would make a big fuss about my birthday, but I think they were aware that I didn’t want that. When I woke up and left my room staff wished me … Continue reading Birthdays with Mental Health Issues

The PICU Mindset

Here’s the thing… now that I’m determined and focused that no incidences will occur, I feel guilty for wasting a bed at the PICU. Guilt and shame are two very real, busy emotions for me. And often the trigger for something. I had a few incidences when I was in the isolation room, but now … Continue reading The PICU Mindset

Psychiatric Intensive Care Update

4 nights in… still not moved onto the main ward, but finally had my PCR test done yesterday, so I’ll either move over there tomorrow or day after. It has made the worst kind of difference waiting all this time in the plain cream cracker-blandest kind of room. But instead of just moaning about how … Continue reading Psychiatric Intensive Care Update