A Ball of Emotion

Tip-tapping on the keyboard is honestly my saving grace right now. If I didn’t have this, at times when things are difficult on the ward (patients struggling, having outbursts or incidences) I would probably give in to the self-harm urges. Not because it’s contagious, but because the amount of guilt from knowing people are suffering … Continue reading A Ball of Emotion

A Cinderella Moment

Head’s a whirlwind!! So I was just beginning a stretch on the yoga mat in group, and the nurse called me out, for my ward round. This was a moment I’d been revving myself up for. Ideally, I wanted to have my eyebrows plucked (the two moustaches at the top of my head), shower and … Continue reading A Cinderella Moment

Pre-Ward Round Rambles

Excitable, nervous butterflies enter my stomach every odd hour or two today. My first ward round tomorrow (review) with the doctor! But more importantly, with my home team too. I actually miss them. This experience is still alien to me, however I am adjusting and functioning with the change well. I’m proud of myself for … Continue reading Pre-Ward Round Rambles

The PICU Mindset

Here’s the thing… now that I’m determined and focused that no incidences will occur, I feel guilty for wasting a bed at the PICU. Guilt and shame are two very real, busy emotions for me. And often the trigger for something. I had a few incidences when I was in the isolation room, but now … Continue reading The PICU Mindset

Happy Times – Why the Hell in a PICU?!

Today is already a good day. Why the hell would I say that on a PICU? Because I’m finally out of isolation. Since Friday evening I’ve been in a dingy room, cut off from other people. I was happily awoken by a nurse today to say my COVID result has come through, negative. And I … Continue reading Happy Times – Why the Hell in a PICU?!